The Irregulars Savage Rifts

Kitten!

[Internal and external musings to Thor]

I really need to think about replacing ALL of Fenrir…They keep screwing up my adventures and fun…It’s almost like they are doing it ON PURPOSE!

FIRST…I had that Slaver Spuge-Gorth dead to rights and would have finished him off, BUT NO, the others all had to chip in and it TOOK for ever to tak him down…AND another thing, why O why do they INSIST on bringing me around the color that shall not be named, you’d think they’ve formed some kind of Lilac League or something…

We finally get this slimy cum covered slaver down and The Sisterhood of the false Gods has to taunt with the falseness of the false gods from their false faces…We know who the REAL Gods are…Like the Romans knew what the fuck was up, they wanted more sex with little boys, how could they know about Gods…

Well I wanted to “get away” so I dropped into the closest place that looked like it had Mead…I was pleasantly surprise when I was meet by all sorts of free loving animals…I’m a free loving anmial, so why not, night booked…

WELL, the REST just HAD to crash.. Scotty and his glorious bagpipes (well I’m sure he did, I could hear shit between kittens legs, like always does, he ought to shove it up his arse, might sound better)…

CPT Slow had to liven up the party with his presence, oh and get this, BROUGHT HIS MOTHER ALONG!!!! Them folk are real party people, right…

Ah Benna, sweet lovable want to make you puke Benna, She all smiles and moody emo make up and skinhead, but she is a right Daughter of Loki by Odin…

She dimed us out to some Miss upstairs, so Kitten and I couldn’t finish, I’ve heard children are a real co├»tus interruptus, but OMT & OMO, DAFUQ…at least I got a new tail…hehe tail…and fluffy muff cover…

KITTTTEEENN! [Think “Streetcar named Desire” scene, but outside the Honeybee and ThorFrid on her knees yelling]

I did get this totally rad tattoo of a Wyrm all down my chest…magic too..watch it not work though because of those stupid folk…

Well, Mother and Father Slow are quitzies and CPT Slow is all really depressed and even slower..don’t hear me whine when I’m on a bender do ya, eh…

So, more proof Benna is a daughter of Loki, Her MA, is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark or some shit…Her PA says so…Benna ought to get that 23&me shit to make sure old PA is really PA, just saying, aint been the first and aint been the last.

So we have to try and find some dude Gwendolyn, nice name “DUDE”…He has all the secrets of the Queen…some night errand…sounds like a lame sex act…Which means we have to ride the yellow submarine again…at least it aint that color, pretty close though…Silas seems ok though…I think he doesn’t trust CPT Slow either…

back to the center of the world again, get to meet with Yggdrasil’s brother again, I like him. His pretenders are a bunch of prudes…I mean come on, what else to plants eat, but shit and air…

The Sisterhood has to trot out that false Roman God shit again…try to divine the truth…ALL bunk, I bet it’s Loki. Convince a bunch of over sexed folk that they should pray to Apollo (can’t even change the name form the Greeks…) and they shall be saved from all the sex…I mean come on “oversexed”, that’s like saying your gun is too big…aint happ’nen…

So the Sisterhood tries to talk to Ygg’s Bro…Like you can to to it…It talks to YOU!!!

So Thor, please come back already…I don’t think I can take much more of these false pretenders…we really need a good Ragnarok to really set these “folk” straight. Can’t wait to join the Valkyrie Armies.

 

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