The Irregulars Savage Rifts

Does Intelligence = Arrogance?


I’m kickin around with these super cool dudes, non-Avalonians, but cool anyway. Anywho man, I am goin with these guys, and I totally came across Jerry. He was taking back the Southerly Lodestone A-717 to the nexus – it was stolen by a friggin necromancer dragon! Super crazy. I heard that Steve checked the dragon’s lair out, and it was totally destroyed by the dudes I’m goin with. So Jerry was with a few others, and the guys I’m with chased them down, full-on destroyed the dragon harness, and took the stone back without even wondering why the guys were taking it in the first place. They were totally skeeved by Jerry, who showed his skull. I mean its not pretty an all, but its totally not cool. So they said they didn’t want anyone to keep any secrets from anyone, then they went off onto their own airship… well the airship I got for them. Wait, why didn’t I go over there? It was my ship anyway. Jerks! So yeah, they talked for a bit, and let the guys go after finding out about our mission. First they wanted to take it to that foreigner, Silas. Remember, the guy that was disguised as.. yeah, you know who I’m talkin about. So he took a piece from the lodestone, super smooth like, and then gave it back to me. The guys agreed to come with me to deliver the lodestone, since it was a long way, and they were super interested in seeing Avladrassil. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem for them to sleep in the embassy, you know the one super far away from the foot of the tree? Well they insisted on goin to the tree and I was worried, but I got a sage and he said it was ok. So they slept at the foot of Avladrassil, and I just stood watch, cuz I didn’t want anything to happen – to them or the tree! They got up eventually, some of them looked like they were talking or petting their toys in their sleep – weird, but ok dude – and they got gifts from Avladrassil. I totally thought that only true Avalonians got gifts! None of the Lizard dudes have gotten gifts before! Well maybe its because we don’t let them get past the borders, but still. So this crazy chick went and excreted waste all over the roots of Avladrassil. I was totally pissed. I went over to her and was just like “Hey, what’re you doing? Can you not?” and she was all rude and blew me off, so I swung my big ol swords at her, and the short dude that got a – I am not joking – living topiary went and stopped me. he just stood between me and the crazy chick and stopped my swings. it takes a lot to stop me, you know that! especially when i’m just pissed off. then the topiary kicked dirt over the waste and hopped back up on the short dude’s shoulder. I didn’t know what to say so I just walked away. They talked about a bunch of stuff, and then I agreed to take the guys back to Silas. It sounded like they were done and were goin to go home, so I started off toward Imit Veruno. The slow dude called me back and said that the itty bitty chick was taken, and they were trying to find her, and there was something goin on. I ran back to the slow short dude with the baby topiary, and yelled at the crazy chick to hurry. she seemed super slow, like she had a bad batch of BP Bones or something. so we got there and the itty bitty chick was in the center of this trippy glowing circle thing. the slow dude and the broody dude were shooting at it, but the short dude and I just ran in to save her. and then we were just yanked through a rift. I thought I was going to lose my bones. it was messed up. so we got to this weird chamber place and stuff was bein said about “Kody Stash Marooned” or something. I heard them talking about it and that we were in a “no win” situation, so I took the short dude and we went to find a control panel that would work cuz the slow dude said theres nothing we can do, and were gonna die, after messing with the control panel in the rift room. then the slow dude and the broody dude yelled at me and the short dude because we were going to kill them, even though they said there’s nothing we can do and we’re gonna die anyway. so we went back and they were just sitting there talking about how theres nothing to do and we’re gonna die, and the broody dude’s eyes went all green, and a new eye opened on his forehead and was shooting out green light and stuff and I thought he was gonna die – or I chewed through a bad batch of toenails – and then he just started crying and said he saw the future and that we were gonna die, so I went to the computer and tried to act like keith, you know keith, the super douche smarty pants dude that talks down to us Priests? So yeah I talked to the computer and it told us where we needed to go so that we could not get killed by the crazy spider stuff that was going to go down. They were talking and talking, and alarms were going off and it was just all going crazy, and I was super worried about dying, so I just grabbed everyone and started off down the hallway the computer told us to go down. They threw some dude’s jumpsuit over my legs like a loincloth, and it looked like I was a floating chest with legs running around way below me because it turned my bits all see through.So we sat there hiding for forever because the smart dudes said that us active dudes would just die if we didn’t – even though I was ready to go down in a blaze of glory. I had at least a full minute’s worth of bone-burning I could have done before I was used up, and what is a priest without goin puff, puff, passaway? Nothing, that’s what. so anywho, you’ll never guess what saved us. A whole group of active dudes came in and saved us…. so it wasn’t the smart dudes. It was the active dudes that saved the day, just like it always is. so then the active dudes – the smart dudes called them CosmoKnights, though I thought they all disappeared – sent me back to Avalon, and sent the dudes I was with back to Earth – you know, where the Once and Future King came from. Super cool. anywho, how’re barb and the kids? Have they assimilated their first skeletons?




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