The Irregulars Savage Rifts

A little domination at Christmas and the city that shall not be named

My dearest Apollo as requested I’m keeping close watch over this group of Irregular’s you tasked me with following and I think they did it again. I will start from the beginning because in our travels we were teleported to a strange very cold realm. It was an awfully place, cold and snow everywhere, what kind of person would willingly live in such a miserable place(so says a Canadian). This realm was home to a very strange creature that called himself Nicholas, funny thing is the guy figured he was a saint or something because he gave us gifts, but really what kind of saint gives broken gifts, seems more like he was re-gifting broken things or he was given them in the hopes Turag would fix them for him.

Anyways this strange man invited us in out of the cold to his hut and served everyone drinks and food and hung poison plants but I guess there is only one way to remove the poison from these plants, sucking the poison out orally(kissing), sounds like a plant Aphrodite made. Not sure why a man that appears to live alone would want a poisonous plant in his house but then he is a “saint” after all. Saint, wait does that mean he’s a follower of the one god… those people are a bunch of weirdos.

Well we set off to fix the broken “gifts” and were set upon by the denizens of this realm, some frosty gnarled looking creatures, maybe they are the result of the poison from the Aphrodite plant if the poisons not pulled out or worse the long term effects of the cold of this terrible place… curious what they looked like before being changed. Anyways we managed to get the gifts fixed but they had strange effects, I was paralyzed in an uncomfortable position, Turag became a metal woman – I think Hera would’ve approved, Beena was made into a angel/cherub thing, Keegan became the worlds tallest dwarf and Thorfrid became Fridnir the festive dragon.

We returned to Nicholas and found him making sentinel golems of snow. He must not have granted them any power yet cause to me they just looked little people made of snow, that might be good name for them – snowmen… nah that will never catch on. He again allowed us in out of the cold, thank the gods cause this cold world is truly awful and now that I can’t move I’m starting to get an itch on my nose.

We again set off to kill the creature that Nicholas said was destroying this realm and the best I could tell this Krampus was absorbing the magic of this place and might be the source of the cold, could it be if we killed him summer would return, oh please that be true. The team worked well surrounding and negating this creatures abilities which seemed very impressive. Fridnir the dragon egged Krampus on to attack her only to show a womens true power as she stole the life and abilities from him, truth be told she owned him like they were married.

Anyways the team continued to smash the now neutered Krampus but as he died he was pulled into the darkness that created him. A quick glimpse of his past showed he has ties to a much larger older magic, we got a glimpse of the creatures tentacled faces in Krampus’s mind, they are… impressive… nothing like you brave and mighty Apollo but truly wow, hmmmmm power, so intoxicating.

Where was I, um, like I said the group destroyed another creature of great power, I don’t know if you felt the same ripple of power this time but I must say never have I seen teamwork like that {as a player or GM} and with the submissive Krampus gone we said our goodbyes to Nicholas, personally I hope summer finds his realm soon cause I’m not sure which was worse the itch on my nose or the fact that floating in that strange position allowed the wind to blow right up my robes freezing my legs and… umm other parts, I was looking forward to leaving.

I mean I was looking forward to leaving until we got back to the real world and was reminded we had to go back… there.

Thorfrid was still under the impression she was Fridnir the dragon and was trying to fly which was very entertaining until she crashed, mentally that is. She went from happy joyous and terrifyingly fun loving to pretty much hungover in a heartbeat, it’s like something in Thorfrid has her change mentally into different people, not sure what it is.

We all set off for the evil city that shall not be named and Thorfrid shared my loathing of the place being very depressed that we had to go, even after getting there Turag wanted to show everyone the sights and stench of the city that shall not be named but Thorfrid said no time for your slow Turag-yness and sped him up by dragging him along, Turag however continued to point out the less stinky bits of town and you know I guess parts of the town that shall not be named are… meh ok. At least they were ok until Thorfrid noticed evil demonic rot in some of the plants and being the avid gardener she is proceeded to remove the weeds. The guards were coming so Keegan pulled out his sword to put Thorfrid to sleep while his crazy ram creature protected everyone by eating the demon plants, I must admit for being such a little guy he can work magic with that little sword I guess maybe size isn’t everything.

I was introduced to Turag’s mother and she is, um well lets say I see where Turag gets his appetite for bondage from cause while I can’t be certain, I think the bitch roofied me. I remember dropping Thorfrid in a room telling everyone I really wanted to leave this stinking cesspit of a city and then waking up with visions of you telling me to destroy the city starting with the red light district. You know I’m a good servant my lord so I set off immediately but was followed by the others who promised to help burn the place down too(at least thats what I heard), getting there we found Turag’s mom who I guess has some influence over the community and was getting the people and guards to help burn everything down.

In an attempt to block some of the heathens escaping out the back we came upon a Splugorth slave barge. Not sure what it was doing there, maybe it was rescuing some Altarans from the whore house and bringing them back into the ownership of the Splugorth or maybe selling slaves to the whore house or maybe they became the new owners of the house, no matter Thorfrid didn’t care and I guess really hates Splugorth, not sure I’ve seen her that mad before and charged while Keegan tried reasoning with the Splugorth. (will update and finish as the battle finishes)




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