The Irregulars Savage Rifts

A Smidge Too Far

The dust had just settled on the battle field amid the Canadian-Montana forest. Heaps of robotic skeletal androids lay steaming on the ground. The crazy’s techo-magic lightning gun still crackled with electric energy as she swung it over her shoulder. Small arcs of residue energy leaped from the gun’s barrel and connected to the rods and domes of her M.O.M. implants in her head. An acrid smell of ozone still lingered in the air. She cocked her hip to one side and pushed back several of her Viking braids out of her face.

“Damn, that was a rush! Dem Loki-bots sure are tricky bastards, with all their re-gen. But Loki ain’t no match for his bro Thor.”

She patted the shoulder stock of her weapon.


“Yup, Captain Slow.” ThorFrid interrupted. “I am fine. Your gun held up well.”

From inside the swiss-cheesed barraged cargo plane a few meters off a queer head popped out of an open door. The strange looking head was attached to a stranger-looking long neck.

“These Loki-bot guns are sleek. I need one for these.” Said ThorFrid, bending over a fallen skele-bot.


“Relax, Turag. It won’t replace your gun. I might not be monogamous with other relationships. But, your gun is the only one I like to handle.”

Turag didn’t catch ThorFrid’s other meaning, he was too focused on the markings on the skele-bot and the guns. To him, the crossed bolts of lightning and skull emblem on the skele-bot closely resembled the Coalition States’ fearsome crest. He had vivid memories of similar skele-bots storming his home in Stormspire during the Great War. The remnants of the Coalition States had all but died away years ago, when Tolkeen had won the war. Nevertheless, he was certain these bots were not from the C.S. But, since he couldn’t be 100% certain, Turag took out his own kinetic-burst pistol and proceeded to destroy the re-generating remains of these forgotten nightmares.

Grey force-energy spewed from the mouth of his pistol sending bits of mechanical pieces from a single bot all over the forest floor.

“Whoa, Cap Slow! Hey that rhymed. Benna, I think I gotta line for one of your poems.”

Turag stopped firing. “This…. needs… a… big…. ger…”

“Yeah! Every man I meet needs a bigger stick, Turag. Momma gots needs, you know. But what THIS situation needs its a bit of Thor’s destructive touch.”

With 18 new guns hanging from straps around her neck, crooks of arms, and one under her chin, she ran back to the K-dawg with her breasts and new guns bouncing about like a shipment of Brazilian dildos on the back of a jungle jeep trying to out run an army of mutant flamingos dressed with high caliber round machinegun bandoliers.

After dropping all the guns in the cargo hold of the K-Dawg, ThorFrid mounted her turret. She aimed the massive dual lightning cannons at the re-assembling robotic heap and fired. Turag barely had enough time to get out of the way of the blast. Billions of skele-bot particles exploded all over the forest.

“Thor…. Frid…. you…. all…. most…. hit…. me…. One…. of…. these…. days…. you…. might…. re…. gret…. pull…. ing…. that…. trig…. ger….” Turag said with unusual calmness, seeing he was nearly made into Trimadore puree.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had it under control. I knew you had enough time to move. Remember, ‘Crazy, not stupid’. Even as slow as you are, there was plenty of time to get out of the way.”

“How y’ suppose these bots keep comin’ back t’gether, Mr. Turag?” asked a pair of squeaky curious voices in unison from inside the cargo plane.

Excited at the teaching moment, Turag directed his attention to the two identical faces of psi-stalker girls peering out of two large holes blasted in the fuselage of the cargo plane.

“Ex…. cell…. ent…. ques…. tion…. Ben…. na….”

Turag’s slow moving face kept shifting back and forth between the two psi-stalkers.

“Uh…. which…. one…. of…. you…. is…. ask…. ing…. the…. ques….”

“Oh, sorry ’bout that.” The two forms of Benna came back together and the single figure of Benna now wore a metal daisy-chain crown made of brass or copper with glowing cerulean embossed etchings. “Is this better?”

“Yes…. I…. hy…. po…. the…. size…. they…. are…. con…. struc…. ted…. of…. high…. ly…. ad…. vanced…. na…. no…. tech….. nol…. o…. gy….”

“Oh, like little robots working together to make a big robot.” Benna cut off Turag’s longer explanation unintentionally.

“Cor…rect…. Ben…na.”

Another woman stepped out from the hole-riddled cargo plane. She wore holy robes of a priest with an insignia that looked like a sun with golden embroidered rays shaped precariously like male phallic pieces. In the center of the sun, there was a harp made of two asclepian serpents with intertwining tails.

“Don’t mean to be the harbinger of bad news. But, has anyone seen that heathen woman and her skeleton minions?”

“Anakhet is gone?” Benna asked nearly choking up. “Ms. Ana?”

Benna ran to the spot in the cargo plane she had last seen her enigmatic Egyptian friend. She peered around Tut, her massive mutant bulldog to see if he was hiding Anakhet. All Benna found was a cloud of dispersing dust that was aggravated when Tut moved playfully as if trying to chase his tail when Benna approached.

“She’s…gone” Benna said softly.

“Well, despite the fact she could not recognize Apollo as the one true god, she was sort of growing on me too, Benna.”

Benna turned to the priestess. Her eyes were welling with tears. “Ms. Rebecca, do you think your boyfriend could bring her back? I, I… just wanted to say… goodbye.”

Though Sister Rebecca’s blind eyes could not see Benna’s tears, her heart could feel of her sadness. Benna tried to hold back her sobs with a spasm of deep breaths.

“Benna, no crying now. This is not something to cry about. Neither is it something that requires the attention of his greatness, Apollo. Wipe up those tears and be strong, never weak. They must not see you weak, Benna.”

Sister Rebecca sensing her words of tough love were not working on the girl, conceded.

“It is not Apollo’s will to bring her back. But he can allow me to create a sentinel in her place. Maybe something like one of her skeletons. How about that?”

“That strangely sounds like fun. What do you need?”

“Apollo requires material in which to imbue life into our Pandora. The first Pandora was hewn from clay.”

“What about all those skele-bot pieces?” Benna asked wiping her runny nose starting to cheer up a bit.

“Those would please Apollo greatly, and probably piss off Turag in the process. A win-win.”

Benna left Sister Rebecca alone in the cargo plane while she performed the summoning ritual to conjure up a sentinel. Benna loaded up Tut into the K-dawg. Turag and the cyberknight Red Cap, Keegan also boarded the craft. Turag readied the engines in preparation to take off.

“Ev…. er…. y…. one…. a….board?”

“Turag, Sister Rebecca has not boarded yet.” Called back Benna’s mom as she buckled in her daughter.

Benna’s mother, Claire was also a psi-stalker. She was previously possessed by an evil supernatural entity called Morgana. Turag still did not trust her, and so intentionally ignored her. He started to raise the K-Dawg off the ground. The K-Dawg had no sooner elevated 10 feet from the forest floor when a loud clank sound burst from the outer door of the crew compartment. The door swung open. The sunlight shot in revealing the silhouette of a tall foreboding figure. The skele-bot’s glowing red eyes fixed on Benna. It’s outstretched arms menacingly held on to the jam of the hatch.

Benna fumbled for her pistols. But just before she could unholster her 6-shooters and fire over her mother’s shoulder, Sister Rebecca climbed down from the back of her new skele-bot sentinel.

“You could have had the decency to wait for me, Turag. Apollo All Mighty!”

The skele-bot closed and sealed the hatch door as Sister Rebecca unloaded her stuff.

“Benna, meet Pandora. I sort of like the name Pandora the Deplorer.”

“It’s a girl?” Benna asked excitedly

“Of course it is a girl. You didn’t think I would make a useless male robot, did you?”

“I love it, Ms. Rebecca! She’s amazing! Though her red eyes are creeping me out a bit.”

“She has red eyes? Are red eyes scary? I didn’t realize her eyes even had a color. Blind, you know.”

“I am sorry. I forgot. I didn’t…”

“Sorry? Please don’t feel pity for me child. Just because I can’t see does not mean I am inferior or in any way disabled. I like not seeing with my eyes. Have you ever thought that your eyes are creating too much distractions? I don’t have those meaningless distractions. Look, you are afraid of a color. Like ThorFrid with the color purple. I am not burdened by such trivial concepts of color.”

“I heard that!” Yelled ThorFrid from her gun turret. “Is the Lilac League making plots again? Captain Slow did you put them up to this? No more talking about the Color-That-Shouldn’t-Be-Named.”

“I…. had…. noth…. ing…. to…. do….with….”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less talking more flying. And the rest of the Lilac League need to pipe it down. I can’t even hear the voices in my head think!”

“An…. a…. khet…. was…. our…. co…pi…lot…. She…. is…. not…. here…. an…. y…. more…. Ben…. na…. will…. you…. help?”

“Me? You want a 9 and a half year old as your co-pilot? I don’t even have m’license, but okay, where ever I can help.”

Benna unbuckled her harness that Claire had just put on. Turag’s eyes were fixed on Claire through a mirror in the cockpit. Claire aided her daughter once more. And pulled her close to whisper, “Be careful my child. Be careful.”

“Absolutely, Mam! I always am.”

Benna walked towards the cockpit steadying herself through some trubulance. She took her place in a high backed captain’s chair to the right of Turag. Her head barely came above the control console. Turag noticed her position and pressed a button raising her chair to a better height.

“Thanks, Mr. Turag, boss. Plotting a course to Castle Rock.” Benna linked her mind to the controls of the ship. She asked it politely to fix a course. She sensed the ship comply. Once the course was charted in the magic computer, Turag released the throttle. The K-Dawg lurched into speed.

In Castle Rock, Claire had a long overdue reunion with her estranged husband, Fairghen MacArawn, the Baron of Keranaugh. It was the most awkward sight to see. The two of them didn’t want anything to do with each other. The Baron was in disbelief, and thought it was a trick. Claire thought he was being an ass as she tried to explain that all the evil things were Morgana. The two feuded for well over an hour. Luckily, the band of Fenrir got some shawarma takeout to pass the time while the couple went from disbelief, to hate, to regret, to sadness, to forgiveness, and finally to embracing each other following Claire creating a mind meld with Fairghen.

The whole ordeal was exhausting. The group would have left sooner if they didn’t have to wait for the K-Dawg to be loaded as freight on the leyline train heading to End Of The Line.

After boarding the train they settled in for the 8 hour leyline ride. It was not long that the group learned that the trip was taking longer than normal. Turag postulated that the leyline was passing through dimensional pockets similar to the energy surrounding Fadetowns. This was acting like a reverse-flow slowing the train down. The trip was probably going to take 10 days.

ThorFrid nearly lost her mind when she heard Turag say this.

“You have to be kidding me! Loki?! This is your doing! Where are you? I’m outta here. Loki and I have unfinished business.”

ThorFrid stormed off to other parts of the train.

Keegan pulled out his bagpipes to pass the time while in the lounge area of the train. His playing was worse than normal. Passengers began moving away from his “music” with visual and verbal disdain for his talents. Feeling out of sorts since being changed from Dwarf to Red Cap, Keegan blamed his performance on this change. He tried to cower away from the angry mob beginning to aggregate in the lounge by fading from sight. The spell backfired and turned him invisible while stunning him in the process.

Turag passed his time in the workshop of the K-Dawg finishing a techo-wizardry collar for Tut, along with some other secret projects.

ThorFrid on her search for Loki got in a fisticuffs with a guy she thought to be Loki. Her M.O.M. kicked into gear and rendered the guy into a coma. The underground fight club opened fire on her bringing her to an inch of life. She was thrown into the clank, where luckily Sister Rebecca found her. Rebecca in an effort to convert followers to Apollo did a massive group healing. This healed ThorFrid and everyone else involved in the fight club brawl. Benna went around the train proselytizing Sister Rebecca’s name. People started to deify her name as Saint Rebecca. Lucky for Keegan, ThorFrid’s fight produced enough blood to wet his Red Cap head for the 10 days.

Compared to the 10 day train ride, the flight from End Of The Line to Castle Refuge was quite dull. What passed the time was ThorFrid relating to Turag what had happened on the train. It would have only taken about 10 minutes to tell the full story, but Turag kept interrupting to ask questions. ThorFrid probably told the story 54 times over.

Arriving at Castle Refuge, most of the crew went to Keegan’s tavern, The Embrace to drink a keg a piece. This was Keegan’s challenge. Rebecca was there again to heal the ones who poisoned their livers beyond physical repair. Meanwhile, Benna went looking for some jobs on the job board.

Looking at the job board, Benna saw Erin Tarn’s name. At that moment she recalled the cartoush bearing Tarn’s name. Benna thought it was strange that Erin had a cartoush just like Morgana and Merlin who were both trapped by the ancient tablets. Why was Tarn not trapped? Benna left the Embrace to confront Tarn.

After being healed by Rebecca, the crew notice Benna was missing. They put the clues together about Erin Tarn, and supposed Benna went looking for Tarn. They went to the castle proper to find Benna before she stumbled into trap.

Benna was found having a pleasant conversation with Tarn in the castle.

“Who do you suppose would win in a fight, Ms. Erin, a Splugorth Sleep-over octo-ape-bear or….Santa Claus?”

“That’s an odd question. Is there something else you came to ask me, Benna? You look quite worried. Is everything okay?”

At that moment, the rest of Fenrir stumbled into the room.

“There you guys are! I was just asking ‘Ms. Erin’,” Benna said with air quotes, “who would win between a Splugorth Sleep-over octo-ape-bear vs Santa.”

“Benna, I think it’s time to leave Ms. Tarn alone now,” Keegan said to her cryptically. “Ms. Tarn is a very busy woman. Come on let’s go.”

“Wow!” Sister Rebecca turned to all of the group and whispered too loudly. “There is definitely a Splugorth shapeshifter in this room.”

Keegan quickly pulled Benna back away from the imposter Tarn.

“Ha, ha, ha, you fools. So, you figured it out did you? Not sure how. I have been parading as this book-whore for months now. So, boring! She lives such a simpleton’s life. Why anyone looks up to her is beyond my understanding. Did you not think that Morgana would not have spies in all the high places of government? This wrinkled hag is just one of her many minions infiltrated into every moving piece throughout this country. You are not dealing with a mere mortal, failing Fenrir. You are dealing with a god!”

The kind, wrinkled but beautiful face of Erin Tarn peeled away from the woman standing in front of the party. Underneath the husk of skin was slimy greenish blue scales. The creature had yellow crocodilian eyes and a slitted blunt nose. The skin seemed to be reabsorbed into the folds of her neck as it peeled away.

Benna, using this moment of distraction she cast a psychic protective armor around herself, then used Santa’s Christmas Crown to create a perfect copy of herself. The copy quickly threw up a mental barrier wall to protect the group from any major blast the shapeshifting witch could throw. Then, she shot out a psycho-bullet at the shapeshifter.

Sister Rebecca took that moment to call upon a deep sleep to come on Tarn’s imposter. Remarkably, the creature succumbed to the priestess’ persuasive powers and fell to the ground in a deep slumber.

They all breathed a sigh of relief as the crisis was adverted. But that moment of stillness and calm was broke. ThorFrid raced forth with her hammer. Before the group could stop the Crazy, she had already taken the spy’s life. A sickening crack resonated the room as the fleshy shapeshifter’s skull crushed like an egg beneath the feckless blow of the aesirian hammer.


“ThorFrid. What have you done?” Keegan asked with great shock.

“Don’t worry, Keeg. I handled it. She’s dead.”

“That is the point of my question.” Keegan’s frustration was beginning to rise. “This. This has gone on for too long. I. I can’t…I can’t be…here, anymore.”

“What? She was a purple spy for the Splugorth, Keegan. I handled it. You don’t have to worry. It’s okay.”

Both of the copies of Benna dropped their pistols, and fell to their knees. “ThorFrid, she, she wasn’t purple.”

“Sure she was purple, Spitfire, ‘Crazy, not stupid’, remember.” ThorFrid for the first time looked down at what was left of her quarry. She saw no purple skin. No purple clothes. No purple tentacles. No purple eyes. No purple anything. She bent down and frantically rummaged the remains searching for any bit of purple. There was none to be found. Her hands now sticky and greasy from the blood and visceral remains, she stood to face Keegan.

“She was a spy, Kee…Keegan? Where did he go?” The Red Cap, cyberknight, wandering judge, and justice of the peace had fade from sight. He was gone.

In Turag’s ear a whisper, “Lead them better than I have done. It is yours now.” A book suddenly materialized out of thin air in Turag’s hands. His first instinct was to drop it. Deny it. He did not want that burden. This was not his path, and he knew this.

“Mr. Keegan!” Benna said with tears starting up again. She had returned back to one person and the crown was again on her head. “Come back Mr. Keegan, we can fix this. Remember, it will all go back to how it was, once we find Merlin to remove the curse. We need you, Mr. Keegan! I need you! It wasn’t your fault—it was mine…”

There was no response.

At that moment a claxon alarm erupted throughout the castle.


Or 2 Wrongs Do make a Right, as proven by a Womyn & ThorFrid (You try to convince her otherwise)

“Well we had the Evil Morgana Army on the run, but the boyz wer’ all scaredy cat, which let them fuckers re-group. I had them cut from their supplies and cut off the Head. But no..we had to run…CPT Slow in all his haste…Yes I see the irony, Crazy, not stupid…[sideways self fist bump]…Like saying I’m a well grounded individual…Anyway, HE WRECKED MY THOR CANNONS! They are like almost 119 mils off on the targeting…DAFUQ Turag!!!”

KDAWG is still having other issues, can’t really fly right now…AND MY GUNS!!!…so luckily, we found a repair garage right here in the middle of the woods…nothing strange about that at all…just an everyday sight, fully equipped TW vehicle repair shops…they just litter the landscape…”

“[ThorFrid in the voice of a crotchety old Scientist] Good News!…I found tons of parts to repair the damage that CPT Slow caused…There was a big pile of junk just laying out behind the perfectly normal TW vehicle repair shop…I was able to strip everything we needed to get it done…I made sure they were the right parts…shoved them deep up Turag’s nose JUST…TO…MAKESURE…he knew that we had found them and that he knew that I fully blame him…”

“We ended up in some strange Kanuk town, middle of nowhere…probably only Moose beer and Maple whiskey to drink… boring…Turag says we need to find a place or something to FIX MY TURRET HE BROKE!…Really…I find all the parts and he STILL CAN’T FIX IT…OY!”

“So Sister Reb and I are going around ‘convincing’ folks to get the deets we needs to get MY TURRET and KDAWG fully repaired..I think they love my charm…so much I get a personal invite to a full on rager sex party!…WOO-HOO…no so boring anymore…”

“So I get a small parade to the club…Strange club, big Star on the sign…oh well…they have cuffs and cages and everything…works for me…”

“Sis Reb doesn’t see me in my little parade…Yeah She is blind…mostly…Anyway…She asks over comms how to get there…I was so excited I didn’t really pay attention…can’t let the Lilac League know I don’t know that they don’t know I know…you know…I gave her some made up directions…best my reclamations…Any way…She sucks at directions, ’cause she was able to walk right to the place…wait…I just proved that 2 wrongs make a right…wow…will have to submit that the the local science journal…”

“She told me she was there, but I couldn’t see her..I could hear her…happens to me more than you think…so she says this ain’t no sex club…It’s the Cheriif’s station…Not sure what a Cherif is..but this place sure is looking like a Sheriff’s office…more and more…‘specially since I haven’t had any sex with another person yet…plenty with myself…just no one else…that is not normal in a sex club…”

“Scotty shows up…Talks with the Sheriff..He’s here to Judge someone…Oh wait…HE’S HERE TO JUDGE ME!…Bunch of legal-ese and chit chat…boring so I didn’t listen…Oh yeah…Sis Reb made me not seeing like her..or not being seen…something…Well I was thinking I’d be here a bit, so I was going to sex myself again when i heard Sheriff say ‘$10K fine…’…wow…that’s it…”


“Turag doesn’t remember or know how to get to England…BOYZ R US3L3SS…Benna knows a Gall though…Point proven…Some chick in Lazlo…Ern Tarnish something…Skelatora remembers some shit about the cartoons [cartouche]…Oh we found a wreck out old TW flyer..Fred’s Exes something or other…Of course a giant mob of strange looking Skelebots were waiting…We made them feel real welcome to our little looting party…real nice warm welcome…Welcome to Earth Boyz…”

“One last thing…so Boyz r not TOTALLY us3l3ss…they have their own pogo stick..which I love to rice all day long…but that’s it…US3L3SS AFTER THAT…”




*T*o err is human, to forget is Crazy;

*H*and in the bush is worth two for this lady.

*O*ut in left field she is waiting for thunder

*R*acking her brain that was once torn asunder.

*F*ailing to plan are just her plans that can’t fail

*R*oses by any other names would just smell

*I*t ain’t over till fat Valkyries shout, “Skål!”

*D*on’t look this grift horse in the rods in her skull.



Shrank. Clink-clank
Robot rank
On our flank
Our hearts now sank
Fired on like a tank.

Bruised, abused,
Left confused,
Brain contused,
But we refused
That we would ever lose.

Shot at, fought,
Trapped and caught,
Threats grew hot,
From mobs of bots
Making our anger wrought!

Wall to stall
Bullets sprawl
Some might fall
‘Cause it’s too small
We sound the battle call

Bam! Grand slam
Like some spam
From a can
All smeared like jam
From Nut-gal’s fatal wham!

Pistols hissed.
Think I missed!
Fears dismissed
To see one list,
Fall straight down and desist.

Stun undone
Bots rerun
Lost not one
We’re all outdone
Is this the time to run?

No! Won’t go!
‘Cause ammo
Ain’t yet low
Let bullets flow
With our Crazy’s gusto

Machines crash
Heaps of trash
Can’t rehash
Their mem’ry cache
When their heads we just smash.

Dust that just
Cleared from gust
Shows the bust
And once robust
Bots that now sit and rust.


Turag Fixes the KDog
Part of the Machine



The K-Dog Mark V is a magnificent machine! It has literally saved our lives on multiple occasions, and most recently was essential in the defeat of the legendary Morgana! The foul witch had broken the anti-gravity system and one of our turrets, and I fixed it with great skill! Let me tell you about the anti-gravity system.

There’s no way to set up a uniform gravitational field in a region of space, either, like you can between the parallel plates of an electrical capacitor. The reason? Because unlike the electric force, which is generated by positive and negative charges, there’s only one type of gravitational “charge,” and that’s mass-and-energy. The gravitational force is always attractive, and there’s simply no way around that.

(Author note- The following are excerpts from articles on Anti-gravity- credited at the end- none of it is my work)

But if you have negative gravitational mass, all of that changes. If antimatter actually anti-gravitates, falling up instead of down, then gravity sees it as though it were made of anti-mass or anti-energy. Under the laws of physics that we currently understand, quantities like anti-mass or anti-energy don’t exist. We can imagine them and talk about how they would behave, but we expect antimatter to have normal mass and normal energy when it comes to gravity.
Tesla’s Dynamic Theory of Gravity (1897) states that all bodies emit microwaves whose voltage and frequency are determined by their electrical contents and relative motion. He measured the microwave radiation of the earth as being only a few centimetres in wavelength. He said that the frequency and voltage were influenced by the velocity and mass of the earth, and that its gravitational interaction with other bodies, such as the sun, was determined by the interaction of the microwaves between the two bodies.

If you find the concept of producing a driving force through pushing against the space-time continuum to be difficult to accept, then perhaps you should consider the US Patent granted to Boris Volfson on 1st November 2005. The important thing about this patent (which is crammed full of long words) is not whether or not it presents a realistic mechanism for a practical space drive, but the fact that the US Patent Office in the year 2005, granted the patent after what presumably was careful consideration. With that in view, it is hardly possible to consider Tesla to have been totally confused when he designed (and built) his “electric flying machine” which operated by pushing against the space-time field.

Tesla used high voltage at gigahertz frequencies for his electropulsion system. The propulsion of a vehicle powered by a Tesla drive is by the use of an additional AC generator at the back (which stiffens the space-time continuum behind the vehicle) and a DC ‘brush’ generator at the front (which weakens the space-time continuum in front, causing the vehicle to be pulled forwards).

Tesla was very astute. He deduced that ’empty space’ actually contained:
1. Independent carriers which permeate all space and all matter and from which all matter is made. These carry momentum, magnetism, electricity or electromagnetic force, and can be manipulated artificially or by nature.
2. ‘Primary Solar Rays’ (starlight) which travel at the speed of light, having frequencies far above X-rays, gamma and UV radiation.
3. ‘Cosmic Rays’, particles in space propelled by the Primary Solar Rays.
4. X-rays, Gamma rays and UV electromagnetic waves, all of which travel at the speed of light.
5. Ordinary visible and Infra-Red electromagnetic waves which travel at the speed of light.
6. Rapidly varying electrostatic force of enormous potential, emanating from the earth and other gravitational bodies in space.
When we grasp the actual nature of the universe, it becomes clear that we have a much larger range of opportunities for producing usable energy in large quantities and at minimal cost.”

Usually science describes the four fundamental forces as:
1 — Electromagnetic force
2 — Gravitational force
3 – Nuclear strong force
4 – Nuclear weak force

This is an incomplete list since it has already been proven that there exists one additional fundamental force: Antigravity, This force was discovered by astrophysicists in 1998 in the sequence of astronomical observations that could only be explained if this new force existed (Glanz, 1998) . Thus, the existence of this force has been verified by direct observation. It is generated by the vacuum itself due to its state of high stress.

The antigravity force of the vacuum is well known in Astronomical circles (Grδn, 1986, 2009; Magueijo/ 2003) . The state of stress in the vacuum is usually described with the analogy of two forces pulling in opposite directions and therefore generating a stress. As it is known, according to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, there are always electromagnetic waves being created and destroyed in the vacuum of space. These electromagnetic oscillations are always created by pairs in opposition, in such a way that the vacuum shows zero net energy. This fact is usually described as the potential source of an enormous quantity of energy. The vacuum looks like it doesn’t have any energy because the electromagnetic waves that it generates are all phase cancelled by other waves in such a way that the final observable result is zero, remaining no observable energy to see. However, the vacuum possesses, at any time, an incredible quantity of electromagnetic fields in opposition and this is the source of its density and high stress or tension.
According to Grδn (1986) the gravitational mass of the vacuum is negative. The total density of gravitational mass pG is given by:

The term on the right represents the components of the energy-momentum density tensor, where T0 3 is the energy density and Ti, τ| and τ| are stress components. The energy density is always positive but the stress components can be positive or negative; T^<0,>0 corresponds to stretched states or a negative pressure.

Equation (1) shows that systems with an extremely large negative pressure or positive tension can have negative gravitational mass density. Generally, a high negative pressure or stretched state wall produce a gravitational repulsion force. On the other hand, a positive pressure or compressed state will produce a gravitational attractive force.

According to the Friedman models of the universe, which are solutions of Einstein’s field equations describing an expanding isotropic universe filled with perfect fluid, the fluid (vacuum) is described by an energy-momentum tensor of the form (Grδn and Hervik, 2007; Grδn, 2009) :

However, considering a vacuum polarization as a gas of virtual particles, Grδn (1986, 2009) and Grδn and Hervik (2007) showed that the energy-momentum density tensor of the vacuum as a dominating term of the form: Tμv = P9μv = PC2gμv ( 3 )
Where the energy density p of the vacuum appears as a cosmological constant, p is the pressure, and both imply the equation of state: p =-pc2, where c is the velocity of light. Since in hydrodynamic terms the pressure is given fry; P=~τr where τ is the tension; the vacuum is in a state of extreme tension because its pressure is large and negative due to having a high density p, and also due to the multiplying factor of c2. This is the reason behind the experimentally observed antigravity force of the vacuum observed by a team of astronomers (Glanz, 1998) . A tense vacuum will have a tendency to expand under the action of its own repulsive gravitation. On the other hand, radiation and mass in space will have a positive gravitational mass that will favor space contraction.

In the Casimir effect, some of the electromagnetic vacuum propagating modes (which are in opposition by pairs) are eliminated between two metallic plates (1 and 2) that are very near (figure l.a), where 3 represents a high vacuum density and 4 represents a low vacuum density) . Between the plates the vacuum density will be less than outside, and therefore the vacuum will also be less tense. The tenser vacuum that exists outside the plates will push them together, due to the negative gravitational properties of the vacuum as evidenced by equation (1) . This is a simple effect, experimentally proven by Lamoreaux (1997) and one can gain extremely useful insights from it, such as a better understanding of the origin of gravity and electromagnetic forces .

Electromagnetic forces can be explained by the vacuum stresses they produce. This is being developed in a new theory called “Fluidic Electrodynamics” which interprets all electromagnetic forces in terms of fluid hydrodynamics and a perfect fluid and tense vacuum. The nuts and bolts of this theory are not yet published in order to secure a patent for the resultant spinoffs before publication. Basically, this theory shows parallels between the equations of electromagnetism and hydrodynamics in such a way that it allows electromagnetic forces to be interpreted as having a hydrodynamic origin from the vacuum itself. In this case, the vacuum is treated like a perfect fluid (Gron, 1986, 2009) . Besides the interesting hydrodynamic analogy, the physical origin of the electromagnetic forces resides on the way electric charges and magnetic interactions alter the stress or tension of the vacuum in such a way to generate attraction or repulsion forces.
Let’s consider two positive charges. The oppositely directed or canceling electric field between the positive charges will increase the vacuum density and stress between them. Because the vacuum is tenser between the charges, the antigravity force generated by the vacuum in that region will force the two particles apart. This explains the physical origin of the repulsion force between equal sign charges (figures l.b) and l.c), where the + signs represent positive charges and the – signs represent negative charges) .

As we will see, electromagnetic forces and gravity can be perfectly explained by the antigravity force generated by stresses in the vacuum. The gradient of the vacuum stresses will determine the direction of the observed forces . These vacuum forces will always be repulsive. Attraction and repulsion will depend on the resultant vector of the total repulsive forces .
If we consider a positive and a negative charge, we can see that the electric field is increased between the charges and therefore the vacuum stress and antigravity force of the vacuum is lower between the charges than outside. In this case the charges will be impelled towards each other by this vacuum stress gradient (figure l.d)).

A moving charge generates a magnetic vector potential in its direction of movement. This vector potential is equivalent to the hydrodynamic velocity of the vacuum (Maxwell, 1861) . Magnetic forces can easily be explained in hydrodynamic terms has interactions of the generated vector potentials. Hydrodynamic currents attract if they are in the same direction and repel if they are in opposite directions. In this way, the attraction and repulsion force between currents and magnets can be explained in hydrodynamic terms. On a more fundamental level, this force can be attributed to how the (interacting) vector potentials alter the vacuum stresses. The magnetic vector potential A is always in the direction of the current I. In the case of two (steady state) parallel currents in the same direction, the vector potential of both currents is in the same direction (is not opposed) . This will lower the vacuum density and tension between the two currentsr generating an attraction force because the vacuum density is higher outside the currents (figure 2. a) on the left side). If the currents are parallel but in opposite directions, then the vector potential will tend to cancel between the currents, due to the oppositely directed vectors. This oppositely directed field will increase the vacuum density and tension between the currents and the vacuum antigravity force generated between them will be higher than outside, therefore the currents will repel each other (figure 2. a) on the right side) . This explanation is also valid for magnets, since they have “equivalent surface currents” that generate the vector potentials and corresponding magnetic fields (figure 2.b) to 2.e), where N and S represent, respectively, the magnetic north and south poles, and A, represents the magnetic vector potential) . This forms a physical basis for the interpretation of magnetic forces in terms of vacuum stresses (figure 2) .

The important point here is that electromagnetic forces alter the state of tension of the vacuum which is reflected as attraction or repulsion, according to the vacuum density (tension) gradient. On this stance, the gravitational force can be attributed to vacuum stresses as well. We just have to look at how matter is made. It contains a concentration of positive charge in the center surrounded by circulating electrons with negative charge. This represents two concentrations of opposite charges in space that act like a “capacitor” (figure 3. a), where 5 represents a simplified atom, and 6 represents a mass agglomerate) . If we reconsider the earlier explanation for the electrostatic forces we see that attracting charges diminish the local vacuum stress (tension) between them. Therefore, atoms will electrically induce a lower vacuum density inside their structure, generating an attracting gravitational force towards them due to the surrounding vacuum stress gradient (figure 3.b), where 7 represents the mass of the Earth). The lower vacuum density in atoms also implies the existence of less electromagnetic allowed states, like also observed in the Casimir effect experiment, that are known to exist for the electrons that surround the nucleus. Atoms also contain opposing magnetic fields from the spin and movement of the charged particles that are responsible for the slight decrease in weight observed between an atom and its individual constituents. This happens because the opposing magnetism in atoms increases the vacuum stress but since magnetism has a much lower strength, in this case, than the existing electric fields, an attraction force towards atoms will be the resulting force.

It is known that a plasma does not allow the propagation of electromagnetic waves until a certain cutoff frequency is surpassed that depends on the plasma density and thickness (Laroussi and Anderson, 1998) . Therefore, the plasma is doing exactly what the parallel conductor plates in the Casimir effect did (figure l.a)). The vacuum density inside the plasma will also be lower, and it will induce a force on a nearby mass towards the plasma because of the vacuum stress gradient. This means that if we create a very high density plasma 8 (density and thickness have to be optimized) , we will generate a very strong gravitational pull towards this plasma (figure 3.c)). The plasma gravitational pull can be easily understood if we note that the plasma is made of a very high density charge concentration of both polarities. And, as explained in relation to figure l.d), attracting charges induce a low vacuum density between them.

Until now, the theory presented here could explain in simple terms the physical origin of electromagnetic and gravitational forces. They all derive from gradient stresses in the vacuum created by opposing or non-opposing electromagnetic fields. There exists a simple experiment that proves further the gravitational connection between vacuum stresses and electromagnetic interactions. This experiment was initially mentioned by Boyd Bushman (personal communication) , a retired engineer from Lockheed Martin. He repeated Galileo’s experiment of dropping two masses side by side and measured the time they took to fall. Boyd verified that when we drop two opposing magnets in one container and normal matter in a second container (of equal geometry) , the opposing magnets arrived latter than the normal mass. This experiment violates the equivalence principle and proves the relation between opposing fields, vacuum stresses and gravitational interactions. It can be easily verified by dropping opposing magnets trough coils connected to an oscilloscope, and then measure the falling time and compare to the falling time of simple magnets.




Author note- I will be adding a video that relates to most logs. This one is from Imagine Dragons




I was noticing that Ms. Rebecca was having trouble remembering Ms. Anakhet’s name. To help Ms. Rebecca, and to thank Ms. Ana for bringing back m’ mam, I wrote a little song and poem about Ms. Anakhet.

A is for all pow’r she boasts

Ruling her thralls of ghoulish hosts.

N is for the Nile’s base

Home to her kin, life to her race.

A is for Anubis’ hand

That brought her back on Earth to stand.

K is for the knife plunged hard

Into her heart and left her scarred.

H is for her hidden face

Behind a mask of beauty’s grace.

E is for eternal fight

To rise in pow’r to godhood’s height

T is for the Tomb she keeps

A curse and gift in which she sleeps


To the office of In-Human Resources Castle Refuge

Audio Message from Sister Rebecca to the head of In-Human Resources Castle Refuge.

“Is this thing on?” slow Turag speak in the background. “How the fuck should I know if the red light is on, I’m blind you … oh is it on.”

“So we take this journey to the center of the earth to see a millennial tree which sounds kind of impressive I guess, and the others say its a very old super power entity so best behaviour but these damn millennials all they do is sit around and have everyone around them do everything.” more slow Turag talk in the background “what the Tartarus has being a tree got anything to do with it? You said the ram thing is a tree and it moves around and eats things like my clothes, that reminds me if that damn thing gets near my robes again I’m gonna kill it.” Turag talk in the background “silence I’m trying to send this message."

<sister> “Now where was I. Oh yes this lazy millennial thing can’t even be bothered to speak, it just sends us a bunch of cryptic images in our heads, leaves blowing in cold winds, that only reminded of me being stuck in that damn yoga position in that frozen hell hole of world Nicholas the pedo lives in, can you believe Benna was actually signing about him watching us when we’re sleeping and yeah that’s awful but then she explained its a kids song, oh so much better, what kid doesn’t want some creeper old guy using magic to watch them sleep. Must be a psi-stalker thing“ more Turag talk in the background, Sister Rebecca turns and give Turag a dirty look that with her face covering he can’t see “Anyways so this millennial just sits there “explaining”(even does finger quotations) to us how it’s seen Morgana doing all these awful things through out time and did nothing to stop her, in fact the tree did nothing as some foul smelling lady with her undead friends teleported to us and at that point I knew we had all gone to Hades, come on, lazy cryptic entities and dead people thats gotta be the underworld right, well turns out we weren’t dead but I guess this lady was and was killed in very foul way in a different time that makes me wonder if the Splugorth had been to this world in the past as some of what she described matches what they do. so this Annakent or Annaket or was it Clark Kent(I recall hearing we might have a hard time pronouncing her name properly so), I’m so bad with names, maybe as bad as Thorfrid cause after awhile she just started referring to the tree thing by its brothers name, didn’t know trees had brothers. but Thorfrid is a gardener after all and I did hope she might start cutting down this tree when it started getting stupid cryptic. anyways this tree thing says the only way we can beat Morgana is with the help of this Annakilt person(great foreshadowing), did I mention she smells, as a blind person I can tell you my sense of smell is very important to me and she stinks, seriously go bath in the river Styx before coming with us.”

more Turag talk in the background “if you keep cutting me off Apollo help me I will (looks back and forth from the camera and Turag and takes a breath before continuing)… now fix that armour for Keegan. (Turns back to the camera with a look of joy that can’t be contained>Oh right Keegan isn’t Keegan anymore. well he is, kind of, but not, now he’s something called a redcap, these people with their colours, purple is evil, red is capped, if only they knew how truly awesome colour is(she would cry here but she doesn’t eyes). Anyways Keegan touched the keystone thing that Morgana made and now has taken a new form for awhile and I have to say as a dwarf or a giant dwarf or as this redcap thing when he plays his bag of pipes it all sounds awful. I shouldn’t really speak bad of it right, it does make one appreciate the silence. So back to the keystone, or wait cartouche, thats what they all called it, Annaspent said the creator needs to work on the chiselmanship cause their art looks terrible, and I swear she was this close to saying it could’ve been carved by a blind person“

“anyways we next travelled back to the surface and went north to the land of maple syrup and something called igloos as we looked for another millennial, hopefully this one is of more help, but also for someone that would be able to find this Merlin guy. Turag seemed bothered by the idea of going north, what a wuss, and its not as bad as he warned. The people talk a little funny, they keep saying ‘eh’ at the end of a sentence and the maple syrup drinking contest was kind of fun. One guy said he’ld show Annaquet me and Thorfrid some other uses for the syrup that was more fun and considering the previous furry adventure Thorfid is likely up for anything. Anyways we get to this new millennial and its guards accuse us of working for Morgana, their leader attacks but fortunately Keegan is able to disarm him and takes his incredibly large sword away which shrinks in his hands, I wonder if his people were maybe cursed with shrinkage issues, it might explain some things”

“now at this point Turag says it wasn’t his fault but suddenly the APC fell out of the sky, if not for Benna catching the falling craft with only the power of her mind Turag would’ve killed us all.”<as>

“once on the ground we see the knight has also shrank and Turag says he wants the knight brought inside the APC so we can leave as this powerful woman shows up and Anklet tells her smelly friends to carry the knight inside, which was a good thing too cause crap does he need to go on a diet (Gawain hears this and checks his belly). Thorfrid started yelling something about Thor the demi-god as she fired the lightning gun at the powerful woman, oh right someone said Morgana, hmm, thought she’ld be taller. Wait I just got it Thorfrid worships Thor and her name is Thorfrid so if she worshipped a proper god her name would be Zuesfrid. Anyways like a typical weapon of a false god it did nothing until the true god’s showed us their might(Adventure Cards)”

“at the same time Keegan’s performance issues continued and he wasn’t able to to hit Morgana with his shrinking sword. He tried to hit that several times but he just kept missing, it was so bad at one point I think even if someone gave him a map of where to hit her weak spot he still couldn’t find it. He said later the sword was throwing him off balance, makes sense right even shrunken he wasn’t used to holding something that big” <everyone> “plus I guess it was his off-hand and guys always say things feel different in the other hand” <more>

“around this time an image came to me of impending doom, followed by a flash of light from Apollo that said ‘Not Today’ this caused Morgana’s spell to back fire and put her on the ground. This gave us a chance to run away with Gawain and our lives but thats not the style of this group and Turag hit the pedal accelerating forward giving Thorfrid a pointblank shot on Morgana. Now what happened next was all a blur, I guess the cartouche exploded and killed everyone. Somehow Anakhet managed to heal everyone with her heretical stinky magic rituals. she says the oils she used will wash out… they better.” <sister>

“And this brings me to the point of sending this message to you at In-human Resources. As Turag slowly as always expressed himself he said he hated me. Well he hated me at first and he hated Anna until she healed him. So I think Turag has a problem with women, I think he’s one of those Incels. It might explain his bondage weapons and that they only work on women. He should have to go to some training courses where he learns to treat women properly and not fear us or the almighty uterus”

^Image from Robot Chicken

<after> “Now as you can see the boys in this group really didn’t do much, Benna saved us from Turag’s bad flying, Thorfrid killed another big bad, Antenna healed everyone and even seen fit to persuade Morgana to join us, although something there seems a little off… at least it did until Thorfrid turned her attention to an army that was coming towards us, but with a few parting farewells she leveled a building and suddenly at least magically Morgana seemed… less.”

<the> “Oooooookkkkkkk nnnnnnnooooooowwwwwwww ttttttooooooo ddddddeeeeellllleeeeetttttteeeeee ttttttthhhhhhiiiiiissssss” <hits> “oooooooopppppssssss”


Turag Becomes a Myth
Morgana, Gawain- How Did We Get Here?



I have seen Excalibur, and met a knight of the Round Table, and no, I am not crazy like ThorFrid. Let me explain.

Keegan had stolen the sword of the giant demon, which somehow had changed him into a red goblin creature- and Gawain, Knight of the Table Round, now lay where the demon once stood- and somehow that quickly became the least of our concerns!

As we were lifting off the ground in our wonderful ship, the K-Dog Mark V, it suddenly lost all lift! Miraculously, after failed attempts by many, including myself, Bena used her telekinisis to same us!

Then we split into 3 groups- Keegan and Bena, joined by her new mount and friend Tut, went after Morgana directly. ThorFrid stayed in her turret, firing away from long distance with Thor’s Lightning, and Sister Rebecca and I went to save Gawain. Again I should mention that Sister Rebecca, while I disagree with her most of the time out of combat, is invaluable in combat situations. Rebecca and I were protected by some skeleton warriors sent by our newest member, Anakhet.

The first attempt on Morgana was made by Tut, who did not succeed. The second attempt from ThorFrid was exceedingly powerful, but was somehow shaken off by Morgana’s powers!

I then shot my Economy Sized Slingshot of Improved Capability at Keegan to increase his strength, hoping that he would be able to defeat her. unfortunately it seems that Morgana took control of him.

ThorFrid again shot at Morgana with Thor’s lightning, and succeeded! Unfortunately she seemed to shake it off. Tut and Bena both tried again, and again failed.

Sister Rebecca turned Sir Gawain- yes, a Knight of the Round Table, and with help from Anakhet’s skeletons, carried him back to the K-Dog.

Anakhet tried to lower Morgana’s vigor, and I lowered her spirit. Meanwhile Keegan recovered his spirit to better resist Morgana.

Keegan tried to hit Morgana, but the corrupted Excalibur made him miss. I shot my slingshot of improved capability at ThorFrid to make her shoot better, and used my detect arcana to examine Morgana. At this point everyone but Keegan had returned to the K-Dog to try to use its bevy of weapons.

Morgana had multiple protection spells upon here, around 8 improved capabilities, and deflection- but all of these were cast upon her, not powers she actually had! Many casters had been involved in rituals to make her what she was. She had multiple cartouches as batteries for magic. I wished to run, and even Sister Rebecca agreed with me, but the others wished for one more chance. I drove the K-Dog closer to give ThorFrid a better shot, and everyone wished for a miracle. (Multiple Adventure Cards- Not Today, Let’s Settle This, Payback, Ace, and Bullseye were on the table).

ThorFrid fired the lightning gun on the K-Dog, and a giant explosion occurred- all the magic cartouches exploded, and not only was Morgana down, we all were down- well all but Anakhet. We were a vigorous group- all but Tut and Gawain were not bleeding out.

Anakhet walked over and sacrificed Morgana to do a mass healing to save the rest of us! She took care of all of our crippling injuries! The Millennium Tree had been right by choosing her!

As soon as Keegan was healed he went racing towards the army that was a half mile away! “I want my body back,” he yelled. Keegan fell down while trying to get away, and Bena grabbed him with her mind, and brought him back. She put him in the brink to protect him from himself.

Sister Rebecca sat down with Gawain and got to know him better.

Anakhet pocketed one of the broken cartouches, and then Anakhet now proved that she was worthy of being in the Fenrir Irregulars, by showing she is completely unhinged- she had made Morgana a mummy! Somehow I think that was a really bad idea…..

Bena supported my efforts, surprisingly, to blow up the creature that was Morgana, and fired, and it deflected off of her. Bena and Anakhet were upset that I had done so, but all was quickly forgotten as the crazy went ThorFrid and fired at the army. Specifically she fired at the heaviest vehicle in the camp, the troop transport, and it did not harm it.

Keegan got out of the brig, and faded from sight. “Keegan, where are you going?” asked Sister Rebecca. Meanwhile ThorFrid shot at the HQ tent, and missed. Anakhet came in and said that Morgana was a friend now, and I believed her. Sister Rebecca seemed to resist her charms. Bena then excitedly embraced her “mother” Morgana, and was so happy.

ThorFrid wanted to take a clearer shot, and I moved the K-Dog into a better position, and shot again. Another hit, and then later another as we moved away. That enemy took significant losses, all due to ThorFrid.

I hope that it was the enemy, and it does not haunt us later….

Much discussion and craziness later, we corralled the corrupted Excalibur, along with the demon Necrom within, inside the puzzle box, my contribution, along with a cartouche, Anakhet’s contribution. Morgana’s power seems lessened, but I fear our choice to not completely destroy her….

Please let Father know I am well, and returning soon.




Author note- I will be adding a video that relates to the log. This one is from the one and only Monty Python troupe.



Mam Air Tilleadh (Mother Has Returned)

Da’ the most wonderful thing has happened! Mam is back! It’s truly her! I knew with all me heart she was still in there. With the help of m’ friends we were able to destroy Morgana, and m’ new friend Ana saved Mam!

You haven’t met Ana, yet. She joined us when we went to talk with the Tree in the center of the Earth. Her real name is Anakhet, she is real pretty, just like Man.

When we were talking with the Tree, I thought about how I could save Mam from Morgana’s curse. That is when the Tree brought us Ana. M’ friends didn’t know if they could trust her, but I knew the Tree wouldn’t hurt us. And the Tree was right! Ana is pretty awesome. She sleeps in this really old black bed that has all of these cool carvings on it, like eagles and hawks and suns and funny dog creatures. The dog creatures remind me of your friends from Los Alamos that you introduced me to, you know the ones that knew Tut.

Speaking of Tut, I finally brought him along. I probably should have been taking him with me the whole time. I need to get better at riding him. Mr. Turag is making a collar for him. It will help keep us safe.

Speaking about being safe! I am glad you didn’t see us when the K-Dawg II suddenly fell out of the sky!! Mr. Turag said that the anti-gravity engines went out without warning. I wonder if it had something to do with Ms. Rebecca’s boyfriend or something. She hasn’t talked to him in a while. I hope he isn’t mad at her.

Anyway, there we were falling out of the sky. Mr. Turag tried to slow our fall using a shield barrier around us, but the K-Dawg was too big for that to work. Ms. Rebecca wanted to conjure a parachute. But Turag did the calculation in his head and told us it was futile (F-U-T-I-L-E, “hopeless or pointless”). I am suprised we didn’t hit the ground before he finished explaining his calculation! I knew I had to do something. Da’, I never knew I had that much power. I reached out with my mind. They said my eyes started to glow a bright pink color. It felt like I left my body, and could see the K-Dawg falling. With bright pink hands of light I grabbed us, and caught us. It was just like that time when I dropped that plate, you know the one Mam’s got from her seanmhair (grandmother), and I caught it with my mind. Only this time it was a lot bigger.

I set us down several meters from the evil Morgana. M’ friends, thankful to be alive, got out and tried to tango with the witch. She was very powerful. It seemed like she just could shrug off our biggest hits. That is until Mr. Keegan, who is no longer a dwarf, but a Red Cap, said, “Not today!”

Morgana got this pale sickly look in her face. I got Tut and myself back in the K-Dawg. Ms. ThorFrid was about to shoot Morgana one last time before we were about to retreat. At that moment, I realized that Morgana had one spot in her armor that exposed into her chest under arm every time she lifted her left arm. I quickly told ThorFrid this is secret. She waited for that right moment then…

…I really don’t remember what followed the gun firing. I remember a lot of pain, but then it went away. I saw a bright light, and seemed to be surrounded by a blanket of pure love. That is as best as I could describe it. At that moment of intense light, I saw Mam’s face. She spoke to me.

“Benna, my girl! You are here. I have waited so long to see you again. Please know I am so sorry you had to pass through all of that. I did not mean to hurt your brother and your sisters like that. But they are here with us now. Come meet…”

She never finished what she was going to say. Neither did I get to see the brother and sisters she was talking about. For one moment I saw Mam, then a mask was put over her face and she changed into Ana’s face.

“Rise, my child! Brush off the waters of the rivers of Duat and return whole. Anakhet commands it!”

I gasped. I lay on the cold steel floor of the K-Dawg. I could faintly hear alarms sounding, and the low humming crackling wires. I could smell a faint smell of smoke and something chemical. My face was warm and wet. As I sat up, I realized that I was covered in blood. It was on my face. It was in my ears, running down my nose. But I felt no pain. A ringing in my ear eventually faded. The K-Dawg looked awful. Something had exploded in the crew compartments. Ana had healed everyone.

As I stood up at the turret, I could see her outside in a trace surrounded by her priests. Ana then turned towards the body of Mam, Morgana had left her. Ana healed her, too! Da’ it was amazing! I was finally going to meet her!

It was at that moment that one of the K-Dawg’ s guns fired. It narrowly missed Ana and Mam! I think when Mr. Turag woke up, he accidentally fired the forward cannons. I am glad no one got hurt from his accident. Ana brought Mam safely into the K-Dawg and told everyone that she posed no threat anymore. Mam even bowed in front of us to show us she had changed.

Mr. Keegan started acting funny too once he was healed. He started running toward the army that was about 2 km from us. He was mumbling something about getting his body back. I am not sure if ThorFrid was crazier than normal after being healed by Ana, but he started firing at that army.

Mr. Keegan turned invisible. I could sense that he hadn’t left yet, though.

“You need to stay inside here where it’s safe, Mr. Keegan. It’s too dangerous out there.” I said to him, quite concerned for m’ friend. I knew he just wasn’t right. I extended my arms out to give him a hug. “Everything will be okay, Mr. Keegan. Anakhet got m’ mam back, I bet we can do the same for your body.”


“Right! If we find Merlin, we can remove the curse.” I interrupted Turag. “See Mr. Keegan! Everything will be all right. Stay with us.”

“Okay. But we need a safer place to put this sword…I can’t resist its whispers.” Keegan said. “I have an idea. Turag talked about the powers of the puzzle box. Buddy, do you think you could make it hold the sword?”


“Yeah, yeah. I knew you could do it, friend. Just make it quick. My mind can only bind the power of the sword for so long. More majy-magic, less Turag explanations…sorry that might be the sword making me a bit ornery…ornerier than normal.”

At that point, Mr. Keegan did something very strange. He took some blood soaking the ground up in his palm and slathered it all over his head and face.

“Ah, much better.”

“So, to England?” I asked me friends.


“Shotgun!” Cried ThorFrid, cutting Turag off again. “I hope you guys know a good place for fish and chips, I have a hankering for filleted halibut and kæstur hákarl!”


The Direst of Situations Amid Rifts and Riff Raff, a Novel of Epic Portent

Greetings and salutations reader!

I assume you are familiar with my great works, Funtasions in the Cosms of Thought, A Burlesque Approach to Dimensional Rifting, The Confounding of the Temporal Inversion, and my latest work, The Opus of Sanguineous Sobriety Through the Modern Age. I dare say they are classics of their own right. Yet, if you are the poor few who are not familiar with my works or the sadder bits of fleshly mediocrity who have not heard of my renown, I take this moment to bless your eyes and ears with my humble introduction. I am Sir Thaddeus Qunicy of the Eleventeenth Court of Bardic Mystics, and Lord Temporaneus Mysteriosum Magorium, Holder of The Quandrinomicon, and Keeper of the Key of Destiny. Humble servant at your service. And though you cannot see me through these written words, know that I have dispatched my hat from atop my head, and am bowing lowly before your presences in honor of the occasion in which we celebrate your now knowledge of who I am.

I inquizzicate your ponderance and wonder, as I reel your mind on the gossimer strands of words and story. When last we met our intrepid band of Fenrir’s Fame, they had left the vile gurgletry that permeated the streets of Stormspire, and had headed to the center of the Earth aboard the runthinkating vessel of none other than Silas the Great, Technowizard of Thermopolis. Keegan, ThorFrid, Turag, Benna and Sister Rebecca all surrounded the astoundingly massive trunk of the nutritiously eternal Millennium Tree, Avladrissil. Basking beneath the breadth of its beams and branches, the party unionized their minds in a trance communing with the deciduous sage of ages.

“Tells us about Morgana” Benna began the inquisitioning of the tree. Her hope was to see a fair picture and location of her mother who she never had the opportunity to meet. Yet, the tree provided no visionation to saurianate her desire. Instead it granted the images of various women through a passage of time. Benna saw war, and great destruction that irraviantly shook her mind in horror. She saw death follow.

“Are all these women the same Morgana?” Benna thought. The tree responded with warm light passing through its dense leafed branches. “That must mean a ‘Yes’.” The tree again responded with light passing through its leaves.

“If this is Morgana and she is evil, how can we defeat her?” The tree’s branches seemed to shake and leaves appeared to fall revealing barren branches. The peerilook of it caused the most cold of feeling that scattered across the pinsulators on the skin. But suddenly warmth returned as the light shone once more through the branches. These two visions repeated over and over sequentially until they realized the tree was unsure or did not have an answer.

Fenrir’s party learned from the tree that Morgana is not endless. Rather, the entity that is Morgana came in cycles. Though the tree knew not how to beat her, it was sure she could be beat. Nevertheless, she could not be destroyed just as little as the shadow could destroy the light, she could only be pushed back.

ThorFrid in all her curiosity wanted to know if Thor was older than Morgana. The tree showed a woman standing over the birth of Thor as a meager walluppersnack.

“How powerful is Morgana?” From this question a mountain appeared with an ancient stairway that seemed to stretch up the mountain side and continue passed the mist covered peak into the heaven’s beyond. Upon the steps of the gloricated stone stairs Fenrir saw themselves. First, wee Benna stood on the first few steps smiling sweetly. Up the way a bit she was joined by Keegan the Stout. A way up the steps stood a strange masked woman swaying lithfully back and forth confused by her present company. Following almost immediately on the next step was ThorFrid. Finally, the long-necked Turag stood resolutely five or six steps up the mountainside stairs. Lastly, the vision took them several leagues up the steps, at least three times the distance from Benna to Turag. There at this distance stood the wretched woman of their inquizzications.

“Who was that masked woman, you showed us, Tree?” Questioned Benna.

At that moment at very equatorous trunk of the tree a masked woman was pulled into existence. She seemed startled but confident, and was surrounded by six skeletal minions with crooked jaws and bedecked with tattered priestly rags and religious trinkets. The name Anakhet came to Fenrir’s mind. And the names of Fenrir came to Anakhet’s mind.

Seeing Anakhet before her, Benna thought, “Who can help us defeat Morgana, Tree?” The tree did not show Anakhet, but a man across the sea in a cave dressed in sagely robes of vibrant motley colors of heliotrope, xanthous and vermilion. The man had dark sorrel colored hair and beard, and was chained away in his darkly cavernous hovel. They concluded this was Merlin of old trapped in the Crystal Cave.

“Where is this cave?” The tree was unsure, but reminded Fenrir of the cartouche found in Benna’s mother’s puzzle box in the catacombs beneath Castle Refuge.

Fenrir then changed topics. “Who is Gawain? Where is he? How can he help us? How can we find him?”

The tree informed them with the impressions that Gawain could be found by bringing the cartouche up to the Golden Spruce Millenium tree in Calgary. Though, there were some impressions that Gawain was once good and delightsome, but is now dark and in hiding.

Unsure of how to proceed, Rebecca wanted to use the cartouche to perform a ritual to delve deeper into its past to discover the whereabouts of this cave. Upon retrieving the cartouche from his pack, Keegan found it glowing. In touching it, his mind became locked in a battle of his psyche with the same dark force seen in the hole that swallowed Krampus! Keegan lost to this force, and rendered his form from Rock Dwarf to Red Cap who had a sickly obsession with bathing himself in blood!

To add insult to injury when trying to gather the objects needed for Rebecca’s object read spell, Benna’s past caught up to her…or more like her father’s past. One of the Avalonians recognized the scion of The Butcher Baron and ushered Fenrir out of the Center of the Earth. Benna was so angry she nearly broke her vow of non-violence.

The group set to a vote: Go to Canada to find Gawain, or go to England to find Merlin. Because they still did not have exact location of the Crystal Cave in England, the majority desired to head to Canada. Also, Silas refused to take his submarine up the leyline to England, meaning the party would have to make a sea voyage if they were to go to England.

Three days later, they arrived on the surface at End of the Line. Fenrir returned to Castle Refuge to check on Norlig and retrieve Tut, Benna’s massive slobbery Dogboy companion. Rebecca tried the ritual once more. She easily did this with the aid of Apollo’s gift that allowed her to duplicate herself 20 times! She discovered in her ritual the exact location of the Crystal Cave. After the ritual closed, Apollo spoke to her and stated that he would no longer allow the abuse of the power for fear that he would soon break the accords for all gods to not interfere with Rifts Earth. He said he would provide her a different boon.

Even with this new information Fenrir failed to heed Turag’s and Benna’s warning to avoid Canada. But who listens to old slow talking windbag and precocious non-confrontational children, anyways? That was not rhetorical dear reader! The venerable Sir Thaddeus never presents socratical rhetoric…It is absurd and unnatural! The answer reader is one of two variety, the reckful (those who abstain from recklessness) and gunklebucks who have a propensity for enjoying boredom.

Away the flew! Wait…no they were reminded of the Dragon Kingdoms that ruled the skies from End of the Line to Castle Rock. Instead, they paid $250,000 credits to ship the Mark V (K-Dawg 2) on a Leyline Freighter train to Castle Rock. After a total of 8 days from the Center of the Earth to now, they arrived in the blissfully dismal Warfield of Calgary. Whereupon the spot the Golden Spruce Millenium Tree and several leagues from its growing roots an encampment of armies. Straddling nearly a quarter of one encampment was a 40 ft tall fiend from the Abyssal Realm wielding a blade of Legend appearing not too dissimilarly from the sword Caliburn seen in Geoffrey of Monmouth books of old, or Excalibur as some may recall.

The giant demon turned toward the flying Mark V and shouted gritoriously, “That is unfair of you, Morgana bringing arcane tech to aid in your escape from me!”

Keegan the Red Cap hatched a plan at that very moment. The Sword! He needed that sword. With his new invisibility abilities rendered as a Red Cap, the Cyber Knight launched himself from the fuselage of the K-Dawg upon the sworded Damon’s shoulder and in an epic battle of strength only a God could win, the fairfolked burglar stole away with the Sword, Necromonica. The Sword immediately reduced in size and whispered its dark and deceitful lies in Keegan’s ear.

“I could help you bring justice and fairness to all the land…give yourself to me…and all of it shall be yours…”

What other dark secrets will the sword whisper? Will they they discover the trickery and hidden nature of the fallen one, Gawain? When will Merlin be found? When will they traverse the seas to skirt the shores of England to discover his cave?

These and all your other questions will be answered fair reader in the next chapter of this intrepid story. Until next time esteemed reader and fellow inquizzicator! I bid thee farewell.



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